Tuesday, October 2, 2007


I am sitting at my desk here at work and cannot seem to concentrate. I don't have any work to do, so I am not concerned with that; though I do have a TON of school work to do. The problem is I can't focus. My thoughts often drift to the child that is growing within me. Will I eat right, will I do him any harm unknowingly, will we be ready for him. I know that I am not alone in these thoughts and that most parents worry about simple things like that. It's just new for me. I don't consider myself to be a worrier...about anything. I live my life knowing that God is in complete control and there is no amount of worrying that I can do that will change that fact. So...I tend to just let things go for Him to take care of. But this, this child that God is giving to Mike and I to raise, to train, to love, to care for, and to finally send out into the world to be a light. This Child is taking 99.9% of my thoughts right now and I can't seem to get anything accomplished. I want to know that we will be good parents, and that we will train him up so that he will be a joy to all, that we will show him enough love and affection that he will spread it to those around him, that we will teach him the lessons of life that will strengthen him, but not so much that he becomes hardened to it all.

God is in control, I know that. We weren't planning on having children for another 4 years, and by all accounts we should not be expecting now. Obviously God knew that it was time and that He was ready for us to raise one of His children. I am very thankful for this. I can't stop smiling, or telling people. I want the whole world to know that I am going to be a mommy!!! But underneath all of that joy is an actual ounce of worry that I will fail, and that my child will be hurt because of it.

But...I also KNOW that by giving my child and my parenting skills over to God, that I cannot fail, and that He will be glorified through it all. This is my prayer.

1 comment:

Melanie said...

First off, Congratulations! We are so excited for you!

Second, There are so many fears with having babies and raising children! Don't give into them. You'll be great parents, and God will show you the way!