Nearing time

Well, I am into the final stretch of this race. I have about 4 weeks left per her due date, but think she might arrive early. I could be wrong though....I did think she was going to be a he! :) For the past week I have been experiencing the wonderful sensations that accompany her dropping. Lower abdominal pressure, discomfort, more frequent bathroom trips, feeling like my pelvis is being ripped apart, you know...the usual.

Its exciting. I know that a lot of women have a fear of labor and delivery. I am not sure if it's the unknown that they fear, or the pain they believe is to come, but I have even known a few who are so afraid of it that it keeps them from wanting to bear children.

Me...not so much. I am (brace yourself) actually looking forward to it. I hesitate to say that because of the responses that I get. Women who take it upon themselves to impart their...ahem... "wisdom" (and I use that word very lightly) upon me regarding childbirth. 2 problems I have with this, first being that I didn't ask. Everyone has their own idea and opinion about how they think labor and delivery should proceed and their own desires for their time. It makes no difference to me that you want to get the epidural at the first onset of pain. That is your right and choice. For me...I don't want it. Besides the fact that I want to truly experience what God created our bodies to do...the research that I have done on the matter just supports my decision to not have my child through a haze of medical procedures. Okay...and the second.....darn this pregnancy brain........I'll have to come back to that later as my mind has shifted directions already! :) Oh...now I remember. Secondly, why does it matter to anyone else what I have chosen? My experience is not going to affect anyone outside of Mike, Faith and I. Why do people feel the need to rain on my parade? To influence me negatively? To try and insist that I am crazy??? Oh well, it usually only takes me a second to brush off their comments, as I am very secure in my decision.

As I can feel my body preparing to bring Faith into this world I become more anxious every day. I am anxious to hold her in my arms, anxious to see and experience the MANY changes that she will bring into out life. I am anxious to see Mike hold his daughter for the first time. I can't wait to get her in the ridiculously cute clothes that everyone has given her. I am also anxious for her birth.

Why am I anxious to go through this experience and why have I chosen to be completely free of drugs and medical intervention (other than Rachel catching her during delivery of course)? I guess because I have always lived pretty free of medical involvement in my life as that is how I was raised. My mom always shared with us what a wonderful experience it was to feel her body bringing forth new life, and that God made us to do this. Our bodies were created to have children. God doesn't make mistakes. Every detail and intricacy has a purpose. I just believe, and research supports my belief, that drugs hinder the birth process and actually make it harder on the mom and especially on the baby.

Side Note: I don't think that people realize that yes, and epidural takes away YOUR discomfort, but not the baby's. They still feel every contraction. And because drugs hinder your body from doing what it is meant to do in the time it was meant to do it...this means that the baby is experiencing the contractions longer than necessary, which leads to a drop in heart rate, which leads to a C-section. The US has the highest rate of epidurals...and the highest rate of C-sections. That's not just a coincidence.

Okay, so this is getting a lot longer than it should because I am just letting myself type and type and type. So I will try and wrap this up. I believe that the pain that is experienced during childbirth is heightened in many women because that is what they expect. I have known and read multiple accounts of women that have experienced truly pain free (not pressure free) and even orgasmic childbirths to know that what is pushed at us by the medical community and Hollywood is not what birth is like for everyone. I believe it to be a lot like life. If you go into something expecting it to be bad...it's going to be.

I try to live my life with a positive outlook, and I am looking at this experience no different.